A pronoun is not a shortened proper noun like us

Hard to believe the below Calvin and Hobbes comic strip (full strip here) will celebrate a 40th birthday in February 2026:

Calvin and Hobbes has aged well. Times have changed though and today pronouns have jumped to the forefront of people’s thinking. To help Calvin out, pronouns are:

one of a class of words that serves to replace a noun phrase that has already been or is about to be mentioned in the sentence or context.

For example:

Does the iPhone belong to Sheila? No, it is mine.
Two pronouns: the first is ‘it’ (replacing the word ‘iPhone’) and the possessive pronoun ‘mine’.

Remember audience, humans tend to the lazy. The Alpha Predator has reached the top of the food chain and now enjoys an eternal sunset G&T whilst kicked back, grazing on snacks and watching the world pass by… on Netflix. The world does not need pronouns. Check again the definition above - or go check further definitions if the dear reader needs more convincing. In every case, the definition will refer to a pronoun replacing a noun. If good noun exists, why use a replacement word? Lazy, right?

Pronouns ensure humans remain lazy. If a person forgets a name, then rather than use a pronoun, remember the person’s name. People forget, but methods exist to train the brain to keep information for longer. Instead of being lazy and sedentary, train the little grey cells for peak performance. Otherwise, apologise for the loss of memory and ask for the person’s name again. Admit failings.

The training may be a struggle. Listed as a part of the eight parts of speech by the Greeks in the treatise ‘The Art of Grammar’ (attributed to Dionysius Thrax), pronouns have existed for grammatical efficiency since the 2nd century BC. The word pronoun has been part of the English language since the mid-15th century. Pronouns have existed earlier than the documented first use of the word pronoun. The 14th century poet and author, Geoffrey Chaucer, used pronouns. Chaucer was also free wheeling with the singular use of ‘they’. A well quoted line from The Canterbury Tales:

And whoso fyndeth hym out of swich blame,
They wol come up…

‘[W]hoso’ is Middle English for today’s ‘whoever’ - a singular expression. ‘They’ is therefore a singular pronoun. Writers ever since have been using ‘they’ as a singular pronoun from Lewis Carroll to Shakespeare, George Eliot to Oscar Wilde. Quick quiz: George Eliot’s pronouns are?

Remember the definition of pronoun? The word ‘context’ is included in the definition. In Middle or Modern English, the use of ‘they’ will not create confusion as long as the speaker/writer has provided sufficient context. If a learned person challenges the use of ‘they’ as a singular pronoun is confusing as ‘they’ is a third-person plural, just re-challenge with the second-person plural ‘you’. No batting of eyelids over the little piece of second-person potential confusion is there? Laziness runs amok and confusion abounds.

Typically, pronoun usage is benign. However, when a person’s gender is the noun, then instigate sensitivities around the correct pronoun to use, else the outcomes can get somewhat heated, and rightly so. The pronouns ascribed to the writer (henceforth “The Writer”) of ‘Whatsoever Thou Is, Ye Are’ are ‘he/him/his/himself’. Do not be lazy, do not look, assume and speak. Ask if unsure. As The Writer is finding, assumptions are dangerous and very much liable for blowing up to much merriment/harm.

As with much surrounding the use of pronouns causing concern today, the ‘enlightened’ Victorian visionaries (read educated men of a certain social class), began insisting on using ‘he’ as the gender non-specific pronoun. There was a certain whiff of male-privilege when the gender-neutral (and singular) ‘they’ was relegated to third-person plural use only and ‘he’ was deemed a sensible replacement. If ‘he’ was good enough for the Victorians, then ‘he’ is certainly good enough for the modern world, right? Wrong. Language changes and evolves. Since the 1850s, the great and the good of how to use language (i.e. with flexibility and communication trumping perfection) have been promoting the use of alternative gender pronouns to ensure inclusiveness. Sit down for the next bit:

No single person or body owns the English language. Whilst the English Language has grammar ‘rules’, the breaking of rules by any individual will not lead to a fine or worse, incarceration.

The Writer will happily entertain lively discourse over the belief grammar ‘rules’ exist so: (i) academics force language to remain constant, ensuring no requirement to update out-dated cognitive biases; (ii) copy editors remain the arbiters of acceptable language use; (iii) ensuring people learning English as a second language lapse into a constant stupor from having to read the incredibly dry books created to promulgate the ‘rules’; (iv) mortals can pass tests and promptly forget the ‘rules’; or (v) pedantic copy editors keep a slim chance of global domination.

Language is communication, dear readers. Don’t get The Writer wrong, document language, less the language vanishes without trace. The documentation must be as fluid as the language, and never remain static. A documented language ensures a base level general understanding (i.e. a national school curriculum). If The Passenger and The Writer sit together on the bus reading an original version of Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales, The Passenger, being slightly older than The Writer, and subject to an earlier base level of education may understand the book quicker. The Passenger and The Writer can refer to relevant written texts of Middle English to aid understanding and enjoyment. Yes, constant referencing will lead to a longer time to read the book, but neither The Passenger nor The Writer have other places to be, and welcome the challenge. Do not tend to the lazy, feed the grey cells. Dear readers understood the quoted Chaucer text, right?

In the English language, roughly what number of pronouns are there? Whilst The Writer theoretically believes there could be plenty of pronouns - there are certainly an infinite number of combinations to arrange the 26 letters of the English alphabet. Having enough breath in the lungs or a sporting chance of pronouncing the combination limits the number of usable pronouns the English language could accommodate. Try and pronounce the new pronoun ‘dfgxxct’. The Writer hazards the number of currently usable English language pronouns is substantially less than infinity: try 97, give or take a couple.

More maths now, and a quick back-of-the-envelope sum. There are approximately 170,000 English words in current use and around half being nouns. Just 97 words to replace 85,000: grammatical efficiency in action. Within the 97 pronouns, the personal pronouns number 27. Gender sensitive pronouns number eight, and four are the reader’s very own pronouns. The reader’s four very personal pronouns are best not dropped from spoken or written English. The Writer, using third person pronouns as a means of address, would sound a tad pretentious. Moi? Pretentious? Never! The result of the sum on the back of the envelope, being the percentage of gender sensitive pronouns available out of the total number of words, is 0.000047% of current English words. In passing, there are 220 words for a sexually promiscuous woman in English, but only 20 for male equivalents.

akikana.com is primarily about language. The Writer is currently no expert on gender issues. However, The Writer has great trouble reconciling why brain-locked individuals cannot contemplate a far from binary world trying to accommodate more inclusive gender pronouns. Fine, the readers are here reading The Writer’s thoughts, but The Writer’s thoughts are fluid, happily updated when encountering extra information and upon inflicting harm, immediate rectifications offered. Don’t preach. Don’t dictate. Throw out tasty crumbs of brain food and wait for the spirited and educational discussion. The Writer and the readers will learn and develop ever more rounded viewpoints. Open-brained journeys are much more stimulating.

When a large cohort of brain-locked people hog the microphone and spout blinkered thoughts stating ‘he’ and ‘she’ are perfectly fine pronouns and cover every situation, The Writer humbly begs to differ. A quick search through a couple of Quora-hosted ‘conversations’ about gender pronouns returns arguments aplenty along the lines there are already enough pronouns and the use of ‘they’ or ‘he/she’ works perfectly well in today’s world. The Writer noticed within an online argument a poster’s name was ‘unisex’. The poster’s luscious lip avatar could lead to an assumption the poster was a ‘she’. If the assumption is not correct, then ‘interesting outcomes’ ensue. As for enough pronouns, why the need for more argument: lose the words for sexually promiscuous women and make space for new words to accommodate a more inclusive and understanding world.

‘They’ works as a gender-neutral pronoun and has been working since the times of Coleridge and Austin. The tall hatted Victorian men would have the rational world think otherwise. The be-hatted ones, as with other parts of the English language, tried to (and still try to) enforce an unwarranted male-view of the world. Currently, language and people are playing catch-up. The list of gender-neutral pronouns will continue to grow ever longer until a set gains widespread acceptance. Here’s a sample from

A list of gender-neutral pronouns courtesy of HubSpot:

A quick thought: The new gender-neutral pronouns need to be natural and pronounceable. The Writer is struggling with the pronunciation of the prior list. Strongly differentiate the new pronouns from the existing third person pronouns. ‘Hirs’ looks very similar to, and is going to be pronounced, ‘hers’.

The new set of pronouns are emerging and the great work should continue on a broader level: inclusion in the national curriculum and TEFL world of teaching English. The Writer has seen plenty of English language teaching sites aimed at students learning English as a foreign language and the gender pronouns are still limited to the traditional suspects. Teachers must ensure that teaching materials are inclusive: teach language and inclusiveness concurrently.

Using pronouns should not be a scary proposition. However, exert particular care with the eight gender specific pronouns when the situation necessitates. Take the time (don’t be lazy) and learn a new set (or two) of gender-neutral third person pronouns leading to more prevalent and accepted use. Courtesy of the University of Connecticut, a guide on using gender pronouns may be of help. Upon making a mistake, apologise promptly. Don’t just move on, use the opportunity to learn more about how people think, react and deserve respect. Become a better person, educate others. Finally, don’t overlook context when trying to understand a pronoun’s relationship to a noun. Unless used for deliberate comedic effect:

Septimus: Geometry, Hobbes assures us in the Leviathan, is the only science God has been pleased to bestow on mankind.
Lady Croom: And what does he mean by it?
Septimus: Mr Hobbes or God?

(From Sir Tom Stoppard’s play, Arcadia, 1993.

Happily, only a couple of months after stumbling over the definition of pronoun, Calvin has worked out how to use pronouns and later still, Hobbes uses geometry to help with Calvin’s maths homework.

NB: Except for the title, sub-title, and the pronouns contained in quotes or within quote-marks (used for demonstration), there are no English language pronouns contained within the text above. The Writer freely admits pronouns: are very useful; have a place and function; and should be intelligently used. Remember, use gender pronouns with care and not as a weapon of ignorance. Happy to have rogue pronouns highlighted.